Here's something I don't say out loud all that often -
Being an entrepreneur whilst paying the bills, looking after your health, practising self-care, chasing your dreams and moulding your ideal lifestyle.. is FUCKING HARD!
There, I said it. Straight from the coach's mouth. It's hard. It's damn hard, and sometimes it gets the best of me. It brings me to tears. It has me reaching for that treat. It has my skin flaring up. It has me wanting to retreat into an episode of (insert trashy TV show here) just for something different. It has me screaming into my pillow with anger and frustration. It has me spiralling into a world of negativity that leaves me feeling depleted, pissed off and ultimately like.. a failure.
There's that word. Failure. The f-word that has us all scared shitless. When all our hard work and late nights are perceived to show no reward or recognition. When self-doubt begins to speak through it's mega-phone and wash out any other voice inside your head.
Yes, I am a lifestyle coach (and a good one at that!). And sure, I believe that it is possible to live the lifestyle of your dreams. But I also know that it doesn't happen overnight. And sometimes, the thought of reading another book on surrender, acceptance and gratitude makes me want to vomit into my green smoothie! Don't get me wrong, all of the above - powerful acts of devotion and dedication to personal growth - but sometimes even a personal development coach needs the space to be human and bathe in her own pity party before rejoining the choir.
Am I currently living my own 'ideal lifestyle' to a tee? Nope. Do I think I ever will? Without a doubt. Am I sure as hell doing everything I can to feel as though I am right now? You bet ya! Because there is this other little F-word that I carry around with me everywhere I go that I just refuse to lose... Faith.
Faith in that I will receive whatever I feel I deserve.
Faith in that I will achieve everything I feel I am worthy of.
Faith in that I can do anything I ever desire to.
And faith in that dreams really do come true if you're willing to do the work and trust in the process.
It's time to get real, my friends. It's time to shine a light on the reality that sometimes life is absolutely fucking hard. And that that is ok. Life will no doubt stretch you beyond your wildest belief. And in achieving your wildest dreams, you may just be faced with some of your worst nightmares. But underneath it all, underneath all the blood, sweat and tears, all the struggles, hardships and lessons, there lies a desire, a passion, a yearning for something you have never wanted to so bad in your life - and that right there is a gift that us humans cannot take for granted. The gift of desire. The ability to want, crave, desire something in our life. And that is what makes it all worthwhile. And as you cast your thoughts over what life would be life without that fire in your belly, that yearning desire or deep hunger, would you really have it any other way?
Some people will tell you that when you live in alignment with your truth, the road to where you want to be is one of ease; more pull and less push; more finding and less chasing. And I think they are right. But what they fail to tell you is that whilst the road may be well lit and well marked with plenty of direction along the way, it is YOU, your own strength and your own body that has to put one step in front of the other and walk that path day in, day out.
Question is, do you have the stamina?
Do you have the food to fuel the journey?
Have you been 'stretched' enough to make you limber and nimble?
Have you put in the time on the treadmill?
Have you got your cheer squad supporting you from the sidelines?
Have you got the mental strength to pick yourself up every time you trip and fall?
And maybe most importantly, have you got the presence to know to soak up every inch of that view along the way? Because once you hit that end goal, there is always going to be another challenge up ahead and it is that view that you are going to reflect back on and remember above all else.
So beautiful, as you shed that tear, belt out that sigh of frustration, or for a second wish for a different state of being, remember - it's ok to not be ok. It's actually part of being human.
You are not a failure. You are not hopeless. You are not stuck in this state forever.
Life is temporary. Right now is temporary. Everything we know to be, is temporary.
So enjoy this latest episode of being human. Acknowledge you wouldn't have it any other way. Refuel, stretch it out, surround yourself with your cheer squad, and jump back in the game whenever you're ready. Run your own race, and remember, to stop and soak up the view!