This one's for all the coaches, teachers, mentors, supporters and self-development lovers out there... Enjoy!
When you become an active participant in your own self development and your curious mind is always open to growth, healing and self discovery; every emotion you feel and every inner thought you observe can become illuminated under a microscope fuelled with good intentions, in the hope of cracking the case and coming out the other end with clarity, life experience and newfound knowledge. You know all too well the affects of self-sabotage, future-tripping, negative self-talk and resistance, so you are quick to self diagnose with an unconscious hint of expectation that you know how to deal with this, and therefore it should be curable without too much of a headache. But so often this self examination and over-analysing can get you caught up in a whirlwind of “should’s” and “could’s”, leaving you paralysed, trapped and worse off than you started.
When you know something is not right in your present life and you can identify exactly what it is. And you know the exact advice you would give to someone else in this situation… Your sense of control is through the roof. Your grip becomes tighter. The pressure on your shoulders begins to mount. And expectations rise. You begin to view yourself as the coach, and lose sight of the fact that you too are the client. Yes, you have the tools to coach yourself through this. Yes, you have the motivational words to guide yourself through each day. But in being the very best coach I can be to myself, I am also failing to uphold the other very critical side of this partnership.
The coachee. I.e. Me. The one that needs to thrive in order for the coach to exist in the first place. The one that needs to feel every emotion, and constantly create space for her gut to guide her. The one that needs to feel supported, instead of the one being supportive. The one that needs to feel held, instead of holding the hand of others. The one that needs the time to feel lost and confused, before she can be calm and connected.
So last week, I became her. I made space for the other part of me that had not seen the light of day for quite some time. I turned down the volume on my internal coach, and allowed my coachee side to blossom into her full self. I let go off my perceptions around what it all meant, and I ditched any control I had over what might happen next. I dismissed the ego’s concerns around what might happen if I just stopped everything I was doing, and I shoved my concerns for everyone else’s feelings to the side whilst I cared for my own. I packed a bag, jumped on a plane home to Sydney, and completely allowed myself to be cared for, supported, loved, taken care of and guided by my loving family and friends. I didn’t pretend to have all the answers. I didn’t try to force a label or judgement on what I was feeling. I simply knew I needed to get away and create some space…and so I did.
And it was exactly what I needed. In surrendering all control and walking fiercely into the complete unknown with zero expectation, I arrived to a sense of calm. Connection. Clarity. Peace. Everything I needed at that exact time, so it turns out.
Sometimes all you can do is surrender. Surrender to whatever the universe has in store for you, and watch it all unfold, be it positive or negative. Allow the surging current of control completely dissolve, and walk blindfolded into the unknown without a second thought on what it all means. As a teacher, guide, coach, mentor, friend or partner; we find it ever so easy to transform into the supportive confidant we need to be. It is in our blood. It is second nature. It feels natural, soothing and free flowing. But we must never forget that despite this great gift we have been given, we must always allow ourselves the space to be the receiver. The one who doesn’t have all the answers. The one that seeks the guidance of others when we feel off course. The one that hands over the baton of control and compassion, and embraces the love that others around us have to give. Because in that space of surrender lies not only deep self love and divine trust, but a life-changing sense of freedom.
Over to you..
Is there a part of your life where you have been holding on too tight? Where in your life can you practice a little surrender and create space for things to simply flow? Are you are coach, mentor, teacher or simply a great friend that has been hiding away from what it truly feels like to be on the other end of such powerful guidance and support? Or perhaps you know someone that is, that could really benefit from a little surrender themself - if so, please share this post with them and help gift them with a little freedom today!