I’ve been having conversations with many of you this week around rituals and boundaries, and after reading this post by Leonie Dawson (which most likely drew me in because of her fine use of the word ‘fuck’ in the title), I was inspired to write my own ‘Golden rules of Tara’ list which I’m instead naming ‘Tara’s 20 commandments’ or '20 golden reminders for living out loud', primarily because ‘rules’ don’t really jam well with my rebellious spirit..
It’s essentially a list of my personal truths/musts (written to myself) for living the way I know I am here to live. Kind of like a manifesto of reminders for when I need it most.
If they jam with you, maybe you could write a few of your own and send them back to me? I’d love to know what’s true for you and how your laying down the law in your own life!
Ok, here goes..
1. Stop, drop and love - every time your man walks in the door. Nothing is ever more important or more urgent. Without love, there is nothing. Get off your ass Tara and attack that man with your love like there is no tomorrow!
2. Never say never. You used to say you would never be an early riser, never be a coach, never be fit, never find a man who loved you and would hold space for you to be you, never find likeminded friends in a country town, never earn an income from your own biz, never love yourself.. Safe to say, that word ’never’ is a dirty word that needs to go! Anything is possible if you decide it is.
3. Love the game/process/journey more than the outcome. It will save you a million times over, and you will never go to bed unfulfilled ever again.
4. Your morning soul sessions are your first priority. Everything else is second. Say no to those early morning catchups if they fuck up your flow, it’s not worth it.
5. People are your jam. You’ve come along way babe.. Yes, you can still be socially awkward and you still can’t handle small talk, but you’re no longer sitting in your hidey hole all day proclaiming not to be a people person. These days, meeting new likeminded people lights you up like nothing else! Do it more often!
6. Keep your protective energy shield on babe, and stick to your own story. Your empathic nature and ability to see all sides of the puzzle often leave you trying to comfort and cater for other peoples shit. Keep your shield on, let that shit come at you and rebound right off. You can help more people that way.
7. Go to the library more often. You love hard cover books, but hate ‘stuff’ so this helps both arguments. Plus, theres no way you are lugging boxes of books with you forever, as you travel around the world in search of the next whale adventure!
8. Keep writing when it feels good to write. Let your creativity guide you, not the other way around. But don’t be afraid to structure the shit out of everything else. Structure can feel all kinds of freeing.
9. Keep expecting love everyday. Smile when you rise, expect love to bowl you over at every opportunity, and be what you want to see in the world. To experience love in the most miraculous ways, we need to believe it’s possible first.
10. There really are no rules, and no-one really knows what the hell they are doing.Do shit your way, put nobody on a pedestal and know that you can add value to everyone you meet. Your gift is yours and yours to share, so share it.
11. Beware of the inspo overload. Keep your ideas flowing in a steady pace - too much inspo can be your greatest form of self sabotage - don’t set yourself up for overwhelm, limit yourself to one podcast a day and look within before you look outside of yourself. All the answers are already in there anyway.
12. Never forget your driving force - You are going to die. So are the people you love, and so are the people you don’t even know. Maybe in 70 years. Maybe in 70 hours. Who knows. All you have is now, so make it count. And keep on not giving a fuck about what people think, because the truth is, in 100 years no-one will even know who you are. All that matters is that you do.
13. Own your weirdness and proudly declare your boundaries. Show women what's possible, don’t tell them.
14. Treat your body to some love often. Body brushing, massage, manual therapy, sweet words - it likes all of that stuff.
15. Dress up every now and then. As much as you love being a North QLD beach bum who gets to wear thongs 365 days of the year, your sexy side likes to be expressed every now and then too. Own it.
16. Dream bigger whenever you can. The bigger the better. And don’t forget to keep those dreams up close, on the walls and everywhere your eyes can see them. We all need to be remembered of our ‘why’ every now and then.
17. 8 hours sleep. Always.
18. The foam roller and stretching is your best friend. Don’t ever go too long without paying them a visit.
19. Never let anyone convince you to buy a TV, ever. 3 years without a TV and it’s still the best decision you have ever made. Next step - no phones in the bedroom!
20. Pay more attention to the little things. The way his cheeks feel soft on your lips. The way she giggles. The sound of the birds. The smell of the rain. That’s the kind of stuff you’ll remember when it’s all over.
Dig it? I’d love to know what you would write on your own list about your own truths/musts. Jot some down in the comments below and share some with me - I’d love that!